Is it really true that young people these days are different from the previous generations? As an advisor-mentor to youths, Dr Tan shares with us his perspective on reaching young people today for Christ.
There was a poignant scene in Singapore movie director Jack Neo's I Not Stupid Too (released January 26, 2006 by Mediacorp Raintree Pictures) when the main character, Tom, had a face off with his parents, Steven and Karen Yeo, that spoke volumes about the issues involved in engaging youths today. After much cajoling and threatening, Tom stormed off the living room without a word. The tension of the scene was delicately balanced by the hilarity of Tom's grandmother who interrupted the parent-child conflict by enquiring if Tom's dad wanted dinner that night. Steven, in muttering guttural replies to his mom, sent her into a rage. She chided him about how his own poor communication skills was probably why he was unable to connect with his wayward son. The old lady's indictment was "You don't even listen to your son, how do you expect to understand his world and problems?"
It is a common saying that young people today are different from the previous generation's. This statement contains both truth and misconceptions. What is undeniable is that the world we live in today is vastly different from the one just merely a decade before. It can be simplistically characterized as the "iPod" world - information driven and individualistic. As a generation brought up with basic human needs more than adequately met, it seeks higher value gratifications and fulfilment. The sum total of the social forces tends to breed young people who are well informed, highly networked, demanding, and almost always self-centered.
What remains the same is that every young person struggles with his or her own identity at some stage of development. The resulting uncertainty and angst drive them to seek peers and communities for affirmation, answers to life's perplexities, and for fundamental meaning to one's existence. Like the youths of yesterday, young people today listen to friends more than they respect the advice of their parents. They need to belong - there is safety in numbers. They need constant affirmation that they are significant individuals with gifts, talents, and the hope to make a difference in the world they live in. Such intrinsic traits and tendencies have not changed with time.
How do we engage the youths who seem almost like they belong to a separate culture at times? The same way a missionary would, which requires a missiological approach that patiently and meticulously studies the culture he or she wants to immerse in. It also means becoming a part of that world.
One thing young people detest is inauthenticity. They can sniff out hypocrisy a mile away. John Poulton, at one time an adviser on evangelism to the Archbishop of Canterbury, in his book called A Today Sort of Evangelism wrote, "The most effective evangelism comes from those who embody the things they are saying. They are their message. Christians need to look like what they are talking about. It is people who communicate primarily, not words or ideas. Authenticity gets across. Deep down inside people, what communicates now is basically personal authenticity."
The other essential aspect is incarnational. In John 17:18, Jesus prayed, "As you sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world." Youths have an innate distrust of adults - developed probably from their experience of having too many adults wanting to control them, restrict their activities, and squelch their dreams. They will only grant trust and therefore access to their inner worlds if they sense genuine empathy. Heed the late Archbishop Michael Ramsey's wisdom, "We state and commend the faith only insofar as we go out and put ourselves with loving sympathy inside the doubts of the doubters, the questions of the questioners and the loneliness of those who have lost the way."
Finally, I glean wisdom from a verse of the theme song from the same movie I have quoted, I Not Stupid Too:
How many care enough to ask why we have gone wayward?
And who will ponder why the apple has rotted?
Ironically, we seek the approbation of all
Search your heart and ask yourself if you have given us hope.
The young generation, the society of tomorrow, needs to be engaged. We can only do so if we care enough, listen to them, understand their concerns, and grant them affirmation and hope.
I Not Stupid Too is a Singaporean film that was written and directed by Jack Neo and is the sequel to I Not Stupid (2002). This satirical comedy portrays the generation gap between Singaporean parents and their teenagers today, with particular focus on the breakdown in communication. Visit the I Not Stupid Too movie website on www.mediacorpraintree.com/instoo.
Dr Tan Poh Kiang is a family doctor by vocation and has been privileged to serve among the low income families in the community. He is blessed with a loyal soul mate - Lie Joan, and two precious daughters, Ella and Alexandra. He is a member of Pentecost Methodist Church, Singapore.
Read "Understanding The Heart Of Jesus Through Evangelism" to hear a young girl's experience sharing the Good News in Uganda.